Regrets make us a better person

We’ve grown up being taught what is wrong from right. We’ve been told not to touch a steaming pot because it might burn us or not to go out of the cold without our gloves because it’ll freeze our hands. People that love us and care for us has always taught these things to keep us from harm…. to make sure we don’t get hurt. To make sure we don’t ever regret doing silly acts.

But sometimes, we let our stubborn and compulsive heart take the wheel. No advice nor encouragement was enough to hinder us from tasting the outcome of our own decisions. Regardless, we all learned it based on experience may it be due to unwanted circumstances. We’ve all had our fair share of lessons in life.

Mistakes that we wished were just dreams because it was too drastic to face in reality.

Mistakes that we’ve tried to keep hidden from the world because we think it’s for the best.

Mistakes where we just wanted to bury ourselves before all the shame and guilt comes crashing in.

Mistakes that haunt us so bad, we’re being reminded of it at this moment that we’re reading this.

Mistakes that got us so fucked up it made us believe we were not worthy of anything anymore.

Regardless, life will always have a balancing agent no matter how cruel and unfair the world can be. It is called regrets.

Regretting the missed opportunities or taken for granted chances show you’ve learned and tell you how  you’re growing as a person because you’ll know how to act better the next time it happens. It’s different from regretting you got caught and will hide things better the next time around. Regretting means learning that you don’t have unlimited chances to any person to fuck things up over and over again.

Not everyone feels regret the first time they’ve made their mistakes. Often times, they’re just sorry because they got caught up. They’ll put you to your limits and take for granted the chances until you’re all empty inside. Know where the Exit signs are and always make sure they are lit up at all times. Let them learn. Let them be. But never ever waste your time teaching them a lesson they are not ready to learn.

Regret is different from being humane, kind or loving. It’s your choice to be humane, whom to be kind and whom to loving to… but regret comes when you least expect it… when you thought you still had all the chances.

Regret is usually taken as a negative thing but for me, having regrets make you realize that things in this world isn’t permanent.

That “I love you” that you held back saying to your family, the cheap thrills that you thought your partner wouldn’t find out, that seminar you passed up going to because you’re too lazy, that gym session you kept procrastinating… it’s never too late go make things right. Make it happen until you’ve got the time and the chances.

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April 7, 2017

My gosh this Friday took a toll on me. The traffic was horrendous so the people that I was going to meet with ended up being on the third location before I was able to show up. I was travelling from 6PM to past 9PM.

I was so hungry, I had to talk to myself to calm down and not be a bi*ch as it was my first time meeting my partner’s HS friends. After a few sips of Ramen, I was back on track. It felt a bit awkward trying to connect with them first. Especially that when it was my turn to sing, it kind of not interest them anymore HAHAHA. The first meeting was okay and I hope we meet again to further bond and get to know each other.

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April 3, 2017

At around noon time I heard one of my office mate asked if someone in the team can go to the University of Santo Tomas (UST) and do an area search. I kept looking down at my laptop because I know hell for sure I got tons of work to finish especially that the company wifi has been going bonkers for days.

Someone was already assigned to go but refused as he doesn’t know much in the area. After that, I heard the words that I’ve been avoiding to hear — “Mariel, you used to study in UST right? Can you go?”

Of course, I said yes. It was a hassle because my phone was also acting up. The company gave me a spare phone but I couldn’t start using it and restore my files there because the wifi is acting up. And so, I left with 90% chances that my phone will just die on me and I wouldn’t be able to take photos. Luckily, even though it was very tiring due to the traffic, I was able to finish it and even asked my partner to meet and have dinner with me.

We ate dinner and then finished our separate tasks on our job. It was a very productive date night for both of us. ❤

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