I am really going through some major life questioning moments right now. I’ll be turning 25 in eight months and I’m still inefficient in my current job because I don’t know my purpose, unstable financially, diploma nowhere near and doubtful or scared with the rest of the other aspects of my life.
I want to drop everything and go somewhere else and dare “life” to hit me one more time with a clean slate… but c’mon this isn’t a movie and I have to be realistic. I ain’t going nowhere with an empty pocket and there’s no such thing as clean slate.
When I was younger, I remember wanting a lot of things. The latest phone, to elegant home, stunning car, a wardrobe full of my desired clothes, the perfect body, glowing skin and to be in every country that I wanted to travel. All these things come with a lot of hard work to be achieved and experienced, lucky are those who’s already born with a silver spoon.
At this point in my life though, there’s nothing I want more than peace of mind. I still want those things don’t get me wrong. But I want more than ever, what I dream of… is a simple life.
Simple enough to be able to experience the things that I want and still be grounded, to not be consumed by the worldly matters — of luxury that’s creeping in your mind with the help of the society making you think you need something to be that someone that pleases the crowd. To just let go and trust that everything will turn out fine. Worrying never solved anything.
Today, I just found out we’re not pushing through with my Korea flight. This will be the 3rd time that I bought Asian vacation tickets that had been cancelled. It is disappointing, but there’s reason why things doesn’t go our way. And even though it’s inconceivable at this moment, like all the other times… I know it’ll make sense.
I won’t give up. I will go to places. I will be better. It’s only a matter of time.