October 28, 2013

art-drawing-girl-insecure-mess-Favim.com-416676_originalI am insecure.
I am selfish.
I am superficial.
I am boastful.
I am deceitful.
I am vindictive.
I am hard to handle.
I am stubborn.
I am childish.
I am an attention seeker.
I am arrogant.
I am a hypocrite.
I am emotional.
I am unreasonable.

Someone once told me...

       "Only when you accept yourself 
is when you can really be happy.
 Admitting and accepting your flaws 
is the first step in being able to be a better you."

To be honest, I was really mad when 
that person pointed out these things to me.
I was mad because I was hurt.
I was hurt because it was true.

I did terrible things to that person
the night I heard these words or so
every time she tried telling it to me.

No matter what I say, no matter how 
I reason it out, the above descriptions is me...
occasionally or worst all the time.

I'm lucky I have someone who loves me,
someone who slaps it in my face that
I am not well anymore as a person.

I wasn't like these things before but 
I let myself be for whatever reasons.
It became a habit. The habit became a trait.
Now, I don't even notice it.

Somebody had to tell me.

It was really hard for me to admit it.
It took me hours to post this.
In between minutes to actually write these things.

But all along I have to.
Because it's only me who'll save myself.
At the end of the day, when all the shit is over,
i'll be all alone but I won't be lonely because I know
this time around it can only get better.

Thank you.
You know who you are.


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